Skip to main content

Turning Tables

I have to laugh. I love a bit of irony—it’s good for one’s morale.


This was sitting in my drafts, but at this point, I have nothing to lose.


It was a few days before Christmas when my mom arrived with my brothers in tow. The following day, I inserted myself into their plans to go to the mall because my own plans got canceled.


At home, my cousin was presumed asleep. By the time I thought to ask if he wanted to tag along, everyone was already outside, and the Indrive was here. Did I feel a little bad? Yeah, a little. But it didn’t seem that serious because when I asked earlier if he had any plans, he replied with an “I don’t know.”


As soon as we got to the mall, I received a phone call from my adoptive mother. She asked where we were, and when I told her, she got to the real purpose of her call: “Why did you leave my son behind?” She started going in on me about how we should’ve invited him, how we could leave him behind when we were all out as a family.


And that’s when I said, “How many times have you guys left me behind when you went out as a family?”


Crickets.


“How many times have you not invited me to things?”


More crickets.


For a little background, the last time I was in Harare, I quite literally begged not to be left behind anymore. You can guess how that turned out. They went shopping, ate out, and went out without me.


The reason I asked not to be left behind was simple: my mental health really suffered during pregnancy and confinement. Being cooped up in my room isolated me in ways I’m still recovering from. Sure, I have moments when I prefer solitude, but I’m not the same person I used to be, the one who looked forward to canceled plans.


But my point here isn’t to gloat about them “getting a taste of their own medicine.” It’s deeper than that. It’s about how easily people can overlook their actions until they feel the sting themselves. When my adoptive mom hung up on me—acting like her 24-year-old son couldn’t fend for himself—I realized this wasn’t about him. It wasn’t even about me. It was about the discomfort she felt in seeing the tables turn, in being confronted with the very thing she’s done time and again.


Still, her vibe toward me has been even weirder than usual since then. But honestly, I can’t bring myself to pay her any mind. She took something minor and turned it into a personal affront. And all I could think was: So, it doesn’t feel so nice when it happens to your own child, huh?


The irony is bittersweet. I’m not bitter—I’ve made peace with what’s happened in the past—but I can’t help but notice how it’s easier for people to demand kindness and inclusion when they’re the ones left out.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Between Religion and Spirituality

I have been going through a lot. Not in the casual, everyday sense, but in the full-on mental breakdown sense—the ugly crying in the middle of the night to my partner, the friend nursing me back to health, the “cannot be left alone” kind of going through a lot. In the midst of that, I jokingly made a comment: that my current life experiences are almost enough to make me revert to organized religion. But even as I said it, I knew that comment itself contained the very reason I have problems with organized religion. So many people turn to their belief systems in times of hardship only. And yet, that reliance has always felt conditional, inconsistent—like a crutch pulled out only when the world feels unbearable. I grew up Roman Catholic, as did most of my family. Catholicism is a world of its own, but when we moved to South Africa and entered a “church hopping” phase, I quickly became confused and unimpressed. Who exactly were we praising here? Something always felt off about what I was w...

Bloom Again

I hope this is the last time I’ll be this candid. I tell myself that each time — that I’ll keep my thoughts locked in a private journal. But this isn’t that. This is for the moments when silence feels heavier than the truth, and when the truth is met with the world’s strange discomfort with the word  victim. I put the word in quotes because somewhere along the way, society decided it’s unseemly for us to claim it.  Survivor  is the softer, braver term. It’s supposed to shake off the pity in people’s eyes, to make us sound like we’ve climbed out of the wreckage and dusted ourselves off. I understand why some prefer it. But maybe it’s the literalist in me — I don’t understand why naming what happened to me is considered self-pity. I was wronged. I was harmed. I am the victim of a crime. That acknowledgment doesn’t mean I carry it as a badge or romanticize it. It’s just the truth. After putting my thoughts on trial I realized that it’s easier for me to think of things that h...

logic and emotion: a tale as old as the patriarchy

Dear Reader, I’d appreciate it if you read this blog post in the same cadence of Phaedra Parks checking Kenya Moore. It’s more fun. Or maybe Superman  talking to Lex Luthor?  Anyway. Here I come with another think piece that I keep hearing about, and I’m so tired, exhausted, and incredibly fatigued of hearing about it. You see, there’s a subspecies of human beings that wholeheartedly believe that logic and emotion might as well be oil and water.  Mind you, basing your argument on simply sounding like the Terminator doesn’t really change anything. You’re just robotic and wrong, possibly even a weirdo. I remember back in my first year of university, our group chat was on fire. Someone had the audacity to say, “This is why women don’t belong in the noble profession; they’re too emotional to argue with logic.” I had a laugh. As I’m having one now. The way men think sometimes—it’s so obtuse and primitive, like evolution took a lunch break and forgot to clock back in. And ...