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Growing Pains

There’s something both daunting and necessary about embracing life beyond youth. George Bernard Shaw once said, “youth is wasted on the young,” and he may have been right. We spend so much time wishing for things we’d change about ourselves or dreaming of what we could become. The irony is, we’re often so eager to grow up that we don’t realize we’re living in a time we’ll later long for.

I don’t know if you can relate, Reader, but being in your 20s has to be one of the most bizarre phases of life. It feels like those transitional years between 8 and 13, when you’re trying to make sense of everything. 

Except now, it’s not just about crushes, first kisses, makeup, and boybands… or is it

It feels like an amalgamation of childhood and adolescence merging with the confusion of young adulthood. So many of us are experiencing real love, devastating heartbreak, new interests, school, work, marriage, babies—the pandemonium is both overwhelming and exhilarating. Sometimes, it tickles me that I have a baby and still want my mom at times.

Through all this, we’re searching for our identity in a world that’s constantly changing. I could try to describe the world, but honestly, what can one say? Many people struggle to find themselves after life-changing events like having a baby, but the truth is, people struggle to find themselves after any shift in life’s trajectory. It’s an awkward, often uncomfortable journey. If you’re like me, you probably have Pinterest boards full of ideas about who you want to be.

My advice? Don’t wait for the ‘right time’ to bring those dreams to life—it may never come. Sometimes, you have to carpe diem the fuck out of life. I’m a procrastinator, but also stubborn when it comes to the things I want. One day I stopped thinking about how I’d become the person on my Pinterest boards, and I just went for it.

I started developing my signature makeup look, thrifting more, and putting in effort to feel confident, beautiful, and sexy. As I’ve mentioned… I have issues. I invested in my nighttime routine, bought the nightgowns and silk robes, because if I want to be “that girl,” I have to be that girl. Not for anyone else—just for me. 

She’s a work in progress. 

I won’t pretend that living your manifestations or prayers is easy, but you have to start somewhere, especially if you have big dreams and a taste for nice things. Miracles happen every day, baby boo—you’re luckier than you think.

But here’s the catch: it takes time. You have to slow down and realize you’re living in the moments you once wished for. It’s easy to forget that until the things you dreamed of—like a child awake at 5 a.m., staring at you with sparkling eyes—are right in front of you.

The pressure to accomplish everything in your 20s is relentless. It’s a constant loop in my head: the pressure is getting… worser. The urgency to “make it” and be successful weighs heavily, but it’s not unique to me. Many of us feel it, and that’s comforting. The trick is to remind ourselves to slow down and appreciate what’s right in front of us. Social media can make you feel like you’re falling behind, like you should be a millionaire by now, but don’t waste the joy of your youth wallowing in comparison.

We can’t all be internet sensations, nor can we all be Disney’s Peter Pan, staying forever young. And that’s okay.

You’re going to be just fine.


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