Skip to main content

Girl Talk: Diction

Words, like many things in this society, have their moments. They trend until we forget about them. Remember when Justin Bieber popularizing swag in the 2010s caused an uproar and suddenly, people were debating the real meaning of swag? Hmm… okay, given the cultural and historical context, maybe I won’t use swag as an example, but we all know what I mean!


That being said, it’s been years now, and calling women females is still a thing.


Bathong?


Aren’t we tired? Even women calling other women females… on Beyoncé’s internet? Where did this trend even come from?


I guess we can blame a mix of internet forums, hip-hop culture, and alpha male rhetoric. The word female has always been around in science and the military, but somewhere along the way, it got picked up in male-dominated spaces—gaming, Reddit, rap lyrics—and became less of a descriptor and more of a way to talk about women like we’re a separate species. And now? It’s overused, objectifying, and somehow still hanging on.


I fear it’s one of those things we simply can’t reclaim. You know, like bitch or cunt. Though, I’ll admit—as I get older, I find myself using bitch way less than I used to. Sometimes I cringe, though I’m not always able to stop myself because, well… I love to cuss. It takes self-expression to a whole new level. I curse like a sailor because it’s just fun. But I don’t know, y’all—is my cringing at a word we reclaimed… cringy?


Don’t even get me started on a man saying it. Whether his gun is pink or NOT, it’s a no from me!


I’ll never forget the day my ex called me a bitch. We were just goofing around, and he laughs, “you bitch.” And to this day, I’m still asking myself whoooo that man was talking to because surely it wasn’t me!This was the same guy who, three years prior, wouldn’t even let his friends refer to me as his bitch. Fact is, I finally took the hint, okay? Okay.


What I’m trying to say is: words carry weight. Some can be reclaimed, but others lose their meaning or shift in ways that make them impossible to take back. Female started as a neutral term but got warped into something dehumanizing, just like how bitch was turned into an insult before women tried to reclaim it. But even then, there’s a line—who’s saying it, how, and in what context?


Language evolves, and so do we. Sometimes we outgrow words we once used freely. Sometimes a word never sits right, no matter how much we try to own it. And sometimes, no matter how much history a word carries, the way it hits when it comes from the wrong mouth will tell you everything you need to know.


Personally, there’s just something so wrongso icky—about women referring to other women as females. Like girl… why are you talking like the other gender?


It feels off because woman is the term for a human female, while female is a broad biological category that includes every species that reproduces sexually. When women refer to themselves or other women as females, something is stripped away. It sounds cold, detached, weirdly clinical. It’s the kind of language you expect in a biology textbook, a police report, or a military setting—not everyday conversation.


And let’s be real—when men say females, it’s almost always in a way that reduces women to just their biology, as if being a female is the only relevant trait. So when women adopt that language, it feels like they’re echoing that same detached, objectifying tone. It’s giving pick-me. It’s giving let me distance myself from other women. It’s giving I’m one of the boys, girls are too much drama.


At the end of the day, you don’t hear men calling each other males the same way. They say men because that word carries identity, history, and personhood. So why should women accept anything less?


And let’s keep in mind the political climate we’re in. Whether you come from a traditionalist background or not, women are always treated a certain way. And we know there are plenty of women who love upholding the patriarchy—because it benefits them. And sure, there’s not much some of us can do about that. But this whole if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em attitude? It’s setting us back and pulling us apart.


We can talk about all the pipelines that lead women down the modest-clean girl-tradwife-conservative path on any day, but for now, I just need to know:


What do y’all get from calling yourselves—and other women—females?


What is happening?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Prayer Is Not a Policy

Earlier this week, the Ministry of Youth and Gender Affairs launched what it called a “groundbreaking initiative”. The National Week of Prayer Against Gender-Based Violence under the theme  “United in Prayer, Solidarity Against GBV.”   I know right? And look, we’ll get to women in positions of power upholding misogynistic and patriarchal values another day. Or maybe later today.  One crisis at a time, neh?  So here’s the thing. Botswana is facing a relentless and escalating epidemic of GBV. From child rape to domestic homicide, survivors are left with shattered lives, limited access to justice, and an insufficient social support system. With churches, religious groups, and communities being called to unite in spiritual solidarity against a national crisis, this initiative was painted as a hopeful, healing intervention. But let’s be brutally honest: this is  not   what change looks like. A man was able to walk into a university and take a woman’s life as she...

Loving Someone Long Term

I wasn’t really sure how to approach this. Even now, I’m still not certain, if we’re being completely transparent. Just take what I say with a grain of salt.  Abeg.  Being in a relationship with someone well-known often feels like living under a magnifying glass, where people’s curiosity adds a layer of scrutiny. Because of that, I’ve always been reluctant to discuss my love life or offer relationship advice. Writing about this feels strange, almost obnoxious, because I’ve never been in a position where I’m so aware of others watching. I know it comes with the territory, but the truth is, I’m not him . He was made to be seen and heard, and he thrives in that space. I’m just wherever he is simply because I want to be. So no, I’m not going to pretend to be a social butterfly when anxiety beats my ass the way it does. I’m content as a wallflower. I’m not miserable, I promise… I just don’t enjoy being perceived.  Take my word for it.   That said, I’ve lear...

The Unlikeliest Toxic Relationship

When I was 17, I decided I wanted to be a human rights lawyer. Activism has always been a passion of mine, as anyone who knows me will tell you. At 18, I began researching the steps I needed to take to achieve this goal. Every blog, website, and person I consulted emphasized that law school is no easy feat. But what would you expect from “the noble profession”? Of course, it’s hard (sorry Elle Woods, it seems I have failed you). For me, studying law has been difficult for unexpected reasons. The content itself is fascinating, and despite my friends and I often lamenting how much we hate law school, we frequently find ourselves discussing legal topics outside of class, as if they are our favorite subjects. What has been truly challenging is the sense that the institution itself is against me. When I started school four years ago, I was anxious but ready to face the challenges of law school. I was eager to write essays again (can you guess my favorite subject in school?). At each new aca...