[7/5/2025, 3:11:42 PM] Scarlet Witch ❤️ A Wanda W No Vision: What has been the best thing about being a mom for you?
[7/5/2025, 3:21:09 PM] Ntswaki: The funny thing is, this answer has changed every month, but after a year I think it’s the fact that it’s been everything I thought it would be and more. I never had any delusions about how difficult this would be—especially the kind of parent I want to be—and I think that’s because I like to be prepared for hardship, if that makes sense. So I never made any room for the good, and oh my goodness! So much of the good are things so small that you never really think about until your baby is asleep and you miss them.
To my daughter,
This is going to be corny and maybe emotional—I’m not sure yet. I wonder if the version of me writing this will align with the version of me that exists as you read this.
I’m suddenly at a loss for words. It’s currently 10:29 p.m., and we’re in bed. You had 2 ounces of chamomile tea, and it knocked you right out. You were quite clingy and energetic today, so I had to get you to sleep somehow.
This year has been an adventure, just like today. I look at you and remember the first time I saw you—a tiny pink alien with a most interesting cry-squeal. I think of the first time you smiled in your sleep, and the first time you smiled at me. I remember the way your dad held you on the way home from the hospital—how proud and enamored he looked. Looking at you two, and how I started to feel whole. Oh man.
I know everyone says this, but I was definitely meant to be your mom, and you were definitely meant to be my girl. You are my raison d’être, as pretentious as it sounds. You have added so much color into my life. I used to be so scared to sleep next to you, to the point where I simply wouldn’t sleep, but now, nothing compares to waking up to your dad’s smile plastered on your tiny face. Over the year, I got to see how you got the best parts of us.
“I’m so worried that I’m never going to feel anything but the weight of her love again” is a phrase I heard once and never let go of, because those words will always ring true. I love my girl so much—the phrase I love her doesn’t even feel enough. Every time I think about her, my heart aches in the best way. The best way. We’ve had a year of figuring things out together, and it can only get better from here.
I love you, Tuts.
All the love,
Mom
Comments
Post a Comment