Skip to main content

Yapping: The End of an Era

If you’ve been around here for a while, then you already know just how much I hated breastfeeding—and how desperate I was to stop. Well, guess what?

After 13 months… I did it.


Insert dramatic round of applause.


Thank you. Thank you very much.


Now let me tell you what I’ve been going through. It hasn’t been cute. And before I dive in, let me emphasize this: this is my personal experience. Not a universal truth. Not a guideline. Just me, myself, and I.


Cue dramatic exhale.


If I had known how painful it would be to stop nursing, trust and believe: my baby would’ve been on formula from the jump. Fresh out the womb to a freshly warmed bottle.


Let me give you the short version:

Mastitis. Fainting. Dizziness. Nausea. A crushing sense of dread.

All because I stopped breastfeeding.


And mentally?


I was going through it. Yhu. 


My boobs were so full I looked like I had a botched boob job that reached all the way up to my collarbones—and they were as hard as granite. The hormonal crash made me feel like I was just a few weeks postpartum again, unraveling. I had to keep 90 percent of my intrusive thoughts to myself out of fear that someone close to me might seriously consider having me institutionalized.


On top of all that? I lost my appetite.

I felt like I was wilting—but still expected to keep the show going.


Being a woman is exhausting. If you’re lactating, menstruating, or both, then you know: your body is on its own chaotic schedule. There’s rarely a break. And the worst part? So much pain has been normalized that the only advice anyone gives is “endure and persevere.”


I haven’t fully dried up yet—I can still feel a few clogged ducts (yay, me)—but I’ve gathered some tips from the Generational Village and from personal experience. If you’re currently lactating and want to stop but aren’t sure what to do, this might help.


My daughter had been gradually weaning herself—until teething hit hard. She started refusing food because of the discomfort, and just like that, any hope of a slow, natural weaning process went out the window. I had to stop suddenly, and it was not pleasant.


You don’t have to take the cold turkey route. If you can, slowly reduce how often you’re feeding or pumping. Express just enough milk to relieve pressure—don’t empty your breasts entirely, or your body will keep making more milk.


Remedies and Relief That Worked for Me


Cold compresses and ice packs can help reduce swelling and inflammation. But let’s be honest: I was not about to be freezing during winter. That wasn’t happening.


So yes, take the hot shower. Or a hot bath. Use a warm towel. Don’t feel guilty about it. The warmth helps with pain and makes it easier to massage out clogged ducts. Just be gentle—massage, don’t squeeze.


Some people also use Epsom salt soaks in a Haakaa pump or a small bowl to help draw out blockages. It’s a bit of a niche tip, but worth mentioning.


Sage tea has been my go-to. It contains natural estrogens that help reduce milk supply. The taste and smell can be intense, but a little sugar makes it bearable. Peppermint tea also helps suppress lactation and is easier on the palate. Other traditional remedies include jasmine flower tea, parsley, and even vitamin B6 supplements (though speak to a healthcare provider first if you go that route). Cabbage leaves, chilled or room temperature, placed in your bra can help with inflammation. Just remember to change them out regularly. They smell…just sayin’. 


There are medications that are known to stop or reduce milk supply, but I’m not a doctor and I don’t want to share incomplete or inaccurate information. If you’re considering that route, please speak to your doctor first.


Lastly, be prepared to wear a bra 24/7. Tight and supportive. Letting your breasts hang freely during the engorgement phase is, quite honestly, one of the most painful experiences I’ve had since recovering from my c-section. I wore a sports bra day and night to manage the pressure and pain.


After a difficult pregnancy, a difficult postpartum journey with anxiety and depression, and now a difficult weaning process…


Breastfeeding will never see me again.


I’ve never cared much for the formula versus breast milk debate. At the end of the day, fed is best. And honestly, I hope everyone—except those who know themselves—has a smoother and healthier journey than I did.


Thanks for joining me in this yap session.

Wishing you a gentle evening and a little bit of rest wherever you can find it.


With love,

N.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Tea (it’s a cautionary tale)

I wasn’t going to say anything, but I keep coming across the TikToks of the young mom who shared her experience at a certain government hospital in the city, and I just can’t keep this nightmare to myself. If you’re pregnant or plan to be and had the mindset that I did, please let me be your cautionary tale. Please. Please. PLEASE. Growing up, I had this romantic notion of giving birth where I was born. All I can say is that there’s a time and place for being sentimental, and this was not one of those times. Here begins our tale. After registering my pregnancy, I was asked where I planned to give birth. That’s when it hit me: I was pregnant and needed to figure out where to deliver. It was overwhelming, to say the least. My boyfriend was in another country, and my mom was on the other side of the country. Everyone who knew suggested either GPH (Gaborone Private Hospital) or Ramotswa if I went the government route. Everything was still up in the air—until hyperemesis came along and mad...

“Nearly everything I know about love…

I've learnt from my long-term friendships with women. When you're looking for love and it seems like you might not ever find it, remember you probably have access to an abundance of it already, just not the romantic kind .” - Dolly Alderton  We often focus on romantic relationships, and while that's important, we don't talk enough about the privilege of being surrounded by young women who want nothing but the best for you, who stand up and show up for you. For one reason or another, I’ve never been the luckiest in the friendship department. This isn't a sob story, but rather a love letter to the girlies (you too, Queen V and Uncle Steve) I’m currently rocking with. They are the rarest of jewels, and I consider myself blessed to have them in my life. New stages in life, such as parenthood or marriage, are usually accompanied by friendship loss, at least from what I gather. But my underrated flex is that motherhood has brought me closer than ever to my f...

Crowning Glory: Beyond the Roots

Dear Reader, when I was a little girl, I had long, relaxed hair—or at least, that’s what I’ve been told. Thanks to CPTSD and chronic migraines, my memory is notoriously unreliable. But when I moved in with my “adoptive family”, the decision was made that maintaining my hair wasn’t practical. My grandma-who’s-not-my-grandma was devastated. To this day, she still laments how beautiful my hair was, as if it were some relic lost to time. At school, prepubescent me—with a bald head—was often mistaken for a boy. That had a lasting effect on me. As I grew older, I tried to reclaim that narrative by convincing myself I wasn’t just unfeminine but rather an androgynous gothic tomboy. My beauty was so closely tied to my hair, and yet my young, impressionable self had no say in the matter. If you’ve read my previous posts, you know that my looks have been a lifelong struggle, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that my hair played a significant role in this internal conflict. When I moved to New Yo...